Dig deep with yourself. Use your pain and pleasure to help others. I was talking to this guy today who still held a grudge against his mother for giving up him and his siblings. I personally have dealt with unforginess with my parents. You can let pain destroy you or forgive and be stronger over time because of it.
Discovering who you are will take work and dedication over time through a lifetime of experiences. Adjusting your to get the right outcome is something we all have to do. I recommend doing the death meditation to re-evaluate your real values at the end of the day. Once you look at time and how much you have left your view will shift into a whole different direction.
Ask yourself, Is the pain really worth the lifetime of torture and knowing the person has the control over you? Or are you going to choose to forgive them to become a much happier person.
It all comes down to what are your personal values. What does life mean to you? How you can make the most of each day?
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